So I saw The Fault In Our Stars this weekend, and it hasn’t left my mind since because of the rip-your-heart-out emotions throughout the entire thing. BUT, instead of talking about all the teary-eyed scenes and the sobbing in the movie theater like every other review seems to, I want to talk about Amsterdam.
Other than making me feel miserable with all the super realistic grief and epic-love-story-ness, this movie made me experience such intense wanderlust that I haven’t felt since being in Italy. When they go to Amsterdam and are walking around with street performers playing and beautiful cobblestone streets and canals, I couldn’t help but feel the urge to be there. I just want to be somewhere other than here.
For my birthday, I wanted a backpack from REI so that I could go backpacking wherever I wanted. I still need to go pick it out, but once I have it – the ability to go without anything holding me back – I need to go. The boredom of a workweek and the disillusionment with college life have pushed my mind to think ahead at all times, to the future where I will be free and able to live my life with no worries of tuition or classes or work schedules. Some people think that is foolish, to not race towards a 9-5 job in a cubicle with a steady income. I am just not built that way.
I’m a dreamer. I believe that there is a way to do more without having a job like that, and I have committed myself to finding it. My ideas for my future are boundless and constantly flowing. I know that everything is up to God, and what He wants for me, I will do. I also know that a life based on trusting God is bound to have plenty of surprises and plot twists, but I’m up for that.
I’m still attempting to get through Jack Kerouac’s On The Road but it’s one of those books that you can put down and forget about for a while and not really be wondering what’s going to happen next. So that’s what I’ve been doing. However, that book just makes it sound so incredibly (and deceptively) easy to cross-country roadtrip and hitchhike whenever you need a ride. It’s not the 40’s anymore and I’m not a man, so unfortunately my situation differs greatly from that of Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty in their crazy spontaneous adventures in the American west.
BUT I do own a car, and I do have the ability to save up money and work odd jobs, and I do have friends across the country that would be more than happy to offer up their couches for me to crash on, and I will be the proud owner of a backpack any day now, and I do have a good head on my shoulders. I could totally pull it off. Somehow.
I need adventure, new marvels, and diverse people in my life to keep me on my toes and to keep me interested. My mom tells me that when I was a little girl, we would go to the library a lot, and I would tell her that I wanted to read every book in the library. I still feel that way about books now, that if I read every single one, I would know so much about the world that I would be able to understand it. Now that feeling has also become going into the world and experiencing it firsthand. The more places I go and the more cultures I see and experience, the more I will learn.
Con l’amore per la strada,